...And Who Hurt You?

As a kid, I loved going to school… It was my favorite place. I loved learning and even as a child I loved the social aspect of it; my books and my friends meant the world to me, and school was the place where they coincided. But when I was in fourth grade, I stopped wanting to go to school, and it was all because of a friend who I had trusted…we’ll refer to her as Danielle here. Danielle lived down the street from me and we had always been friends growing up; we did practically everything together. Part of me always admired her, because she was incredibly pretty and smart, and I was so glad we were friends. I trusted her with all my secrets, and I thought that she would always be there for me. In the fourth grade, I was so exited because Danielle was in my class and I thought we were going to have so much fun all year long. But one day I walked into class wearing a shirt my mother had given me; it was a light pink short-sleeved shirt with a vintage Cadillac all across the front, and I was so proud to wear it because my mom had picked it out just for me. Danielle laughed at me. In front of the whole class. She said it was ugly and stupid and everyone laughed with her. For the rest of the year, I hated school. I always thought everyone was laughing at me, judging me, saying I looked stupid. My self-esteem suffered a serious blow, and at the tender age of nine, I was no longer confident in myself. At the time I thought I was the only one who had suffered such an embarrassment, but growing up I have realized that most people have a similar story. So…who hurt you?

Incidents like this can follow people for their whole lives. The fact that I remember that day in such detail an entire decade later shows how much it affected me; in fact, I am just now starting to get over the emotional damage it has done me. All throughout the rest of school, including high school, I was always worried about what others thought about my appearance. Now that I am in college, I have finally found self-confidence again, and now I just dress to impress myself. But for ten years, that day had haunted me, and my self-esteem had never been the same.

No matter what people say, everyone secretly wants the validation that they are accepted in society, and when someone is mocked for their clothing or body shape, that seriously undermines that. Self-esteem is so important to all individuals, regardless of gender or age, and one comment from one person can destroy what has taken a lifetime to build. It is unfortunate that this type of ridicule persists in our society, but ultimately it is a true test of character. The people that can leave behind all the negative comments and still be themselves are the ones that have true self-esteem, and they are better off for it. At this point, I can actually finally say that Danielle’s comment has helped me to grow; without that incident, I may never have questioned myself and might not have been able to find myself in college. That day shaped a large part of who I am now.

The Danielles of the world will continue to hurt people’s feelings and self-esteem, but it is important to push through that pain. Whether it takes ten days or ten years, one of the most important things in life is to be confident in who you are, so don’t let others defeat you. Wear what you want to wear, and when you finally find who you really are, you won’t regret it.

In Two Words or Less, Tell Me Who You Are

Ready…go.

What was your answer? Are you preppy, or grungy? Are you a skate or snow boarder? A surfer or beach bunny? Gothic? Emo? A drama nerd? Or are you something completely different? Were you ever any of these things?

Whichever (if any) of these you identify with, I would be willing to bet that you had stereotypes in mind for the appearances of the other categories. Although many people will speak out against the dangers of stereotyping, it is a sad fact of our culture that it is essentially inevitable. It is part of human nature for people to categorize others into groups in order to better understand themselves and the world around them, and the easiest way to do this is to judge based on appearances. The stereotypes associated with certain groups and the way they dress can never completely disappear; the best way to deal with them in our society is to understand and critique them.

I often wonder whether these groups are even that different. When it comes down to it, people use fashion as a way to express themselves and their beliefs, and that applies to all groups, ranging from preppy to gothic. The stereotypes cannot be avoided, so the best thing to do is to be true to yourself and not worry about what people will think.
Other people judge what they do not know or are afraid of, and this is how stereotyping continues to affect our society. But there is no real problem with stereotyping until someone takes it too far; the simple categorizing that all people do has no real negative impact because it is based in truth. Each group tries to make a statement about who they are and what they do through their fashion choices; the relaxed style of surfers says something about their lifestyle, as does the dark style of goths. So how a person presents himself or herself sends a very clear message into the world about where they have chosen to fit into society, and ‘chosen’ is a very important word. After all, since everyone gets to pick their friends and the people they associate with, it follows that everyone chooses their own clique and the clothing style that goes along with it. A person’s appearance is in his or her own hands. However other people stereotype that appearance, all that really matters is that each person embraces who they are and expresses that with their clothing.

Part of me will always be a drama nerd, and my style will always reflect that. Some people will judge me for that, and other people will wholeheartedly accept it, but the most important thing is that I know who I am. Stereotyping can never change that.

Welcome!

Hello, all!

I am so glad that you have decided to join me in my investigation of the fashion industry! 

I feel very strongly about the fact that this is a very important topic.  All of our lives are driven by fashion in some respect, whether you personally follow trends or go completely against them.  After all, every person is familiar with fashion stereotypes (were you a jock in high school? or the next Kurt Cobain?), and there are even more aspects of fashion that many people don't even fully realize.  There are differences in European and American fashion that reflect how each culture classifies people by their style, there are celebrity fashions that drive popular fashion (and visa versa), and how a person's style is received can greatly affect their self esteem.  All of these topics, and many more, clearly demonstrate what an integral part fashion plays in our culture, and I intend to investigate how and why this is true.

I feel that I am qualified to do this because of the large role fashion plays in my own life.  I am a costume design major, I work in a clothing store, and I have been striving to find my own personal style for several years.  I believe that I am lucky enough to have recently pinpointed my design aesthetic, and I have come to terms with how people (and how I) perceive me as a result.  With this blog, I hope I will be able to help people to better understand the role fashion plays in our world, and maybe I will help people to find their place in that world.

I hope you enjoy it!

And remember, NEVER button up your individuality!