...And Who Hurt You?

As a kid, I loved going to school… It was my favorite place. I loved learning and even as a child I loved the social aspect of it; my books and my friends meant the world to me, and school was the place where they coincided. But when I was in fourth grade, I stopped wanting to go to school, and it was all because of a friend who I had trusted…we’ll refer to her as Danielle here. Danielle lived down the street from me and we had always been friends growing up; we did practically everything together. Part of me always admired her, because she was incredibly pretty and smart, and I was so glad we were friends. I trusted her with all my secrets, and I thought that she would always be there for me. In the fourth grade, I was so exited because Danielle was in my class and I thought we were going to have so much fun all year long. But one day I walked into class wearing a shirt my mother had given me; it was a light pink short-sleeved shirt with a vintage Cadillac all across the front, and I was so proud to wear it because my mom had picked it out just for me. Danielle laughed at me. In front of the whole class. She said it was ugly and stupid and everyone laughed with her. For the rest of the year, I hated school. I always thought everyone was laughing at me, judging me, saying I looked stupid. My self-esteem suffered a serious blow, and at the tender age of nine, I was no longer confident in myself. At the time I thought I was the only one who had suffered such an embarrassment, but growing up I have realized that most people have a similar story. So…who hurt you?

Incidents like this can follow people for their whole lives. The fact that I remember that day in such detail an entire decade later shows how much it affected me; in fact, I am just now starting to get over the emotional damage it has done me. All throughout the rest of school, including high school, I was always worried about what others thought about my appearance. Now that I am in college, I have finally found self-confidence again, and now I just dress to impress myself. But for ten years, that day had haunted me, and my self-esteem had never been the same.

No matter what people say, everyone secretly wants the validation that they are accepted in society, and when someone is mocked for their clothing or body shape, that seriously undermines that. Self-esteem is so important to all individuals, regardless of gender or age, and one comment from one person can destroy what has taken a lifetime to build. It is unfortunate that this type of ridicule persists in our society, but ultimately it is a true test of character. The people that can leave behind all the negative comments and still be themselves are the ones that have true self-esteem, and they are better off for it. At this point, I can actually finally say that Danielle’s comment has helped me to grow; without that incident, I may never have questioned myself and might not have been able to find myself in college. That day shaped a large part of who I am now.

The Danielles of the world will continue to hurt people’s feelings and self-esteem, but it is important to push through that pain. Whether it takes ten days or ten years, one of the most important things in life is to be confident in who you are, so don’t let others defeat you. Wear what you want to wear, and when you finally find who you really are, you won’t regret it.